Today, I am 28.

Year 27 was not what I expected. To say that it was a difficult year for me is possibly an understatement.

You expect your life to go a certain way, and it usually doesn’t. And that’s fine–sometimes the unexpected is better, but sometimes it’s worse. And because of that, you have to learn to let go.

Pete and I spent more time in hospitals than I would have thought. In the middle of the year, we were told that he may need to be on dialysis soon and that we might have to have kids right away, only to find out that his doctor in Orlando was wrong about both things. It was an emotional roller coaster, since we’re not ready to have kids and dialysis would mean he was that much closer to a transplant, which he’s so young for. Thankfully we’re at Mayo Clinic now, and his kidneys have actually improved. Stupid Orlando doctor and his false alarms.

I learned that when I’m working crazy hours, I can’t expect myself to keep up 100% at home. That outsourcing is ok, and will probably be required for me when we have a kid. Sending our laundry out is probably one of the best things I’ve ever done, even though I feel guilty about it and never want to go back to doing all of it myself.

I learned that I have friends who still love me, despite my flaws and frequent disappearances this year. They waited for me, and I’m so grateful for that.

I loved Joey and lost him. He is with another family now, and hopefully we’ll see him in a few weeks. We saved his life, and in return, he saved mine. His new family said we can visit him any time, and I can’t wait to see him again. Even though Joe was a lot of work (who really wants to wake up at 5:30 and walk a dog when it’s 27 degrees outside?), he taught me a lot, and Pete and I owe him everything.

I learned that I need to be kinder to myself. I can’t be everywhere all the time. I can’t be perfect all the time. I’m allowed to say no without explanation. That you can still be homesick, even at 27.

I learned that I don’t like Facebook anymore! Who would have thought?! I left up my profile and shut down my wall. I needed to stop sharing myself in short increments and start  blogging again. I only go on there every few weeks, and when I do, it’s because I have to check on our work profile. I may be back, but I doubt it.

I learned how much Pete loves me. His grad school hell is actually his version of a love letter. It’s his commitment to our someday-kid and to me, and his promise that I won’t be a married-but-single-parent because he’s working 55+ hours at a restaurant somewhere. The journey has been tough, but we’re almost done.

I’m excited to see what year 28 holds. Hopefully a new job for Pete, grad school for me, fewer trips to Mayo (love you Leelee, but I’d rather see you for fun and not b/c of Mayo!), and maybe a real vacation!