You know, there are times when I do worry about who reads this blog, but today I don’t care. Because I’m cranky and irritable, stuck in that week before my period where everything makes me more angry that it usually would.

Like the fact that we got in trouble for taking a long lunch yesterday, even though it wasn’t intentionally taken.

And the fact that a few weeks ago, I was told that if we want to stop being treated like middle schoolers, then we need to stop acting like them. Of course, that’s sort of out of context, and there is a before and an after, but it was said, and said just to me, not the whole group like I was told it would be. Me, who is already bothered by how the middle aged people in the department sometimes treat me because of the way I look and sound. I can’t help it that I look young, and sound young. But I definitely don’t think that I’m comparable to a thirteen year old.

So I’m hiding in my cube, eating lunch with my headphones on, because I can’t handle being around everyone else right now. It’s too hard for me to hide how I feel, and that personal comment made me mad, and the reprimand about lunch just brought it back to the forefront. What I really want to do is say something, but apparently you don’t talk to your boss about your feelings in the world of corporate politics. Everyone is too busy watching their own ass, trying not to get fired. But I almost don’t care. If I didn’t desperately need the money, I would say something, because the way that things have been handled is wrong. I should be allowed to speak my mind without being afraid, and I should be allowed to say what I want. But a little peon like me isn’t afforded such a luxury, because right and wrong don’t matter in the corporate world, the only thing that matters is that you cater to every whim of your supervisor because you’re supposed intimidated by them.

God I hate work sometimes. I can’t wait til I’m done, and working for myself.

I wish I didn’t have such a hard time letting things go, but age is a sensitive issue with me.

I need a vacation, and I need to run or play tennis or something. I think I’m just going to suck it up and join the gym today, because my pants are super tight today, and that bothers me. It’s like my ass is just hanging out everywhere, and I’m hoping that no one will see it.