I don’t know if you caught the "women are losing themselves in marriage" episode on Oprah, but I did.

Lance Armstrong’s wife on there, talking about how she lost herself by throwing her "self" into the relationship, rather than keeping the things that she loved close to her.

Isn’t that how it always is, though, in a lot of relationships? We all have that friend whose life becomes not just the property of their boyfriend, but the actual life of the boyfriend himself. She is concerned with everything he is, likes everything he does, doesn’t like what he doesn’t like. Her friends drift away because they can’t get ahold of her, and when they do, all they talk about is said boyfriend.

Anyway.

Lately Oprah has taken it upon herself to "start a revolution" among women. First there was the "why did I let myself go" revolution, which is really about how you sabotaged your weight, then the "teenage girls should not be prostitutes" revolution, and now the "don’t get married because if you do you won’t exist" revolution.

I appreciate the attention she is trying to draw to women’s self-esteem issues, because God knows I have them. I can even see how that would relate to prostitution, and trying to find love in other places than yourself. But to call marriage a conspiracy? I don’t think so. Do I think that marriage will be easy? Definitely not. Living with a person, let alone making a lifetime commitment to them is enough to drive two people crazy. But at least you have love, which makes you look the other way when the toilet seat is still up or all of his clothes are on the floor. I don’t think it’s fair to call marriage a conspiracy, it is just something that isn’t talked about enough, in the same way that life after graduation isn’t talked about. People need to learn that it’s ok to admit that you’re having a hard time. It’s ok to be upset. It’s ok to feel what you’re feeling. Calling it a conspiracy makes it out to be like men are trying to fool us, and I don’t think that’s the case at all. It’s like she’s trying to grab the "desperate housewife" syndrome and run with it.

She doesn’t realize that having someone love you as you are, is one of the best things ever. I don’t hide in my relationship. Pete has seen me at my best, and definitely at my worst. He knows what I like to do and what I don’t, but it doesn’t mean that I’m not willing to compromise on some things. Love and acceptance go hand in hand, and being in a relationship does not always make you lose your independence, as long as you make a point not to.