Now that I think about, I’ve felt like this before!

Among other things, I have PMDD, which is pre-menstrual dymorphic disorder.  In English, that means that I have PMS on steroids. Because of my lack of insurance, I’m no longer on the BC, meaning that the montly PMS whatever I deal with is going to go back to how it was before, which was bad. The things that we do to our bodies, even if it is an effort to regulate it or protect ourselves. Now that I’m OFF of it, my body is rebelling. So maybe that means its attributing to the anxiety that I feel. Last night was the second time this week that I called Pete crying, and I’m usually a little hormonal but not that much so.

Last night, as you can see, I bought ART for my walls. And my parents are coming soon, a week from today. I have to get my apartment finished in 7 days. That’s a lot of pressure. It’s not so much my mom that I care about, but my dad. It will be the first time that he sees it, and since he’s helping me buy it, I need his approval. I guess I need his approval on most of my decisions anyway, like renter’s in surance and car insurance, because right now, I’m not always sure what I’m doing. Today during lunch I went to Homegoods and bought some more art for my bedroom. I feel better now that there will be something on the walls. I also need to go through my stuff and weed out the things that my parents will be taking home with them. Crazy crazy.

Here’s something weird to think about. Sometimes, when I’m sitting at my desk, there is something (or someone wandering around maybe?) that smells like diapers. I can’t figure it out, and I know it’s not some weird biological clock thing, or coming from my desk for that matter, because all that I have here is a chocolate chip cookie. So much for being good about staying under 15 g of sugar!