I was productive during my lunch break today. Rather than just going to Homegoods, I closed my Suntrust bank account. Hurray! I’m free of them. Since TooJay’s is in the same shopping center, I decided to pick up a sweet tea to get me through the rest of my day. <\/p>\n

I get into my car, and there’s a drink in my cup holder. I put the sweet tea cup in between my legs so that I can drive and move the cup out of the cup holder at the same time. <\/p>\n

As I’m doing this, I start to feel something cold and wet…on my butt. I look down, and the stupid cup has tilted towards my lap, spilling sweat tea everywhere, and I’m still driving. I didn’t know what to do! I had no towels, no napkins, no anything, so I moved the sweet tea, parked my car, and got an old tennis towel from the trunk. There’s tea all over my lap and my butt, making me look like I pissed myself. And I still had to go to work after!<\/em><\/p>\n

I gathered up my pride and walked into Homegoods anyway, hoping no one would notice, because the longer I sat in the car, the more time it would take for my pants to try. Lucky for me, nobody noticed. Small blessings are a wonderful thing! \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n

And so goes a normal incident in the life of Lindsay. I can’t take it one day at a time, I have to take things one moment<\/strong> at a time, since I’m so damn clumsy!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I was productive during my lunch break today. Rather than just going to Homegoods, I closed my Suntrust bank account. Hurray! I’m free of them. Since TooJay’s is in the same shopping center, I decided to pick up a sweet tea to get me through the rest of my day.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[62],"class_list":["post-549","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1DIlZ-8R","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lindsaykeegan.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/549","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lindsaykeegan.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lindsaykeegan.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lindsaykeegan.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lindsaykeegan.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=549"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lindsaykeegan.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/549\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lindsaykeegan.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=549"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lindsaykeegan.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=549"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lindsaykeegan.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=549"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}