There was a standard of living I thought would continue after graduation. That the way my parents lived would automatically be the way that I lived, because I had a JOB. Since I had this JOB, I would be able to afford life, plus a few little extras, like new clothes from Ann Taylor Loft, or eating out at lunch time with my coworkers. <\/p>\n

This is the reality of life after grad. I am a year and a half out right now, and this is what I have:<\/p>\n

\n
• A Focus that might die soon, that I can’t afford to replace.<\/li>\n
• A job that I love, but that I feel doesn’t pay me enough to live because<\/li>\n
• I racked up all my credit cards trying to pay for my doctor appointments and meds, and repairs to said Focus, as well as some frivolous things here and there.<\/li>\n
• A townhome that I love, but sometimes regret buying because I wouldn’t be in all this debt to begin with. <\/li>\n
• No cable. <\/li>\n
• Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch and dinner. <\/li>\n
• Barely living paycheck to paycheck. <\/li>\n
• A second job hosting again.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

  Sometimes I feel like I’m in a hole, and the harder I try to get out of it, the further away the edge is. I call it a black hole. I know that there will be an end someday, and I just keep telling myself, "Hang on for another year, when you and Pete get married it will be ok." But the truth is, I’m scared that even with a second income, it won’t be ok. And a year is a long time. And how am I supposed to plan a wedding and lose weight and work two jobs? And see people? And go home for more wedding stuff? <\/p>\n

  I feel like it’s me against the world sometimes, and I’m fighting with everything I have just to make it, and it’s not enough. I am not enough. But I know that I am doing the best I can with what I have, and what I do have is more than most people. Some people don’t even have a place to live or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. <\/p>\n

  And so that’s what I’ve been up to lately. Just trying to get through one day at a time, praying that my bank account won’t overdraft, and that the people I babysit for will call me for at least one weekend night so I can last til the hosting job starts.<\/p>\n

  On a lighter note, I’ve picked up a freelancing job, and an interview for another one, which makes me very happy. My dad just sent me this email, in response to me telling him I got the freelance job. <\/p>\n

  \n

  Keep it up. God is preparing you for
  \nsomething and that\u2019s why you are getting all these different experiences.<\/p>\n

  Love You,<\/p>\n

  Dad<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

  Thank God for parents. They always believe the best for you, even when you don’t believe the best for yourself.
  <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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