I downloaded the new Windows Live Writer and have been sitting here for like an hour thinking of things to write about. It\u2019s like, what is there not to write about? I could talk about Pete, or the new job. So i went back to the old Livejournal and read about my former self, and I really don\u2019t remember a lot about what happened back then.<\/p>\n

A few weeks ago I threw out an entire box of notes that had been sent up here to me from my old room in Miami. <\/p>\n

It was like sacrilege. I hang onto everything with a memory attached to it, and my boxes of notes are no exception. But this box was from middle school, and contained a lot of ridiculousness like \u201cI don\u2019t want to go to class\u201d and \u201cI wrote XXX a note about XXXX.\u201d Middle school was so much drama for me. Even looking through the box was overwhelming, so I put it out in the recycle box and resolved that if it rained that night, they would have to go. <\/p>\n

It rained, and the notes were recycled. Which got me thinking. What do I really want to remember? Reading my old journals is almost painful. I don\u2019t want to bring that stuff back up or relive any of it. The same goes for the old Livejournal blog, which has both good and bad memories (and thankfully a privacy setting where only Kelly and a few others got to see me being too honest). I think that my note boxes are going to all be recycled. It\u2019s really hard to let go of them, but I learned that I am not the person I was back then, and neither are the people who wrote those notes. I\u2019m not even in contact with most of them except via Facebook. <\/p>\n

I just want to relive moments. Good ones. Maybe I will start writing memory photographs in here instead. <\/p>\n

We are celebrating our first Christmas in town this year. It\u2019s weird, because Cristin and Matt will come over for dinner on Christmas Eve, and then on Christmas I\u2019ll make Pete and I Cream Chip Beef. He works at 4 am the morning after Christmas, and then we\u2019ll head over to PG for some Christmas fun. It will be the first year ever that I haven\u2019t been with my family. I\u2019ll probably cry. I\u2019ve cried along all of these little changes (changing my name, etc), and I think it\u2019s okay. I think that it\u2019s weirder to not have trouble letting go. <\/p>\n

Off to clean, good times.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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