Dear Self,

You are finally coming down off of that caffeine high. I say finally because it made you anxious and stressed out all day, and now your heart has stopped and you can breathe again. I can stop singing "Reason to Believe" to myself. Why don’t you ever learn that sugar and caffeine are your enemy? They make you spastic and unable to concentrate. That’s what you get for being bad with food all weekend. Visiting Pete’s Italian family with all of their carb-ridden pasta that you love so much, and the readily available soda and wine with dinner will be tempting this weekend, but it’s in your best interest to resist. Don’t forget that.

Love,
Lindsay

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Dear Boy I Once Liked,

This renewed friendship has been difficult for me in a sense, because while I can forgive you enough to see you, it is hard when I realize how little you cared about me. Or paid attention to my life at the time. Like when I began to tell you about an email from a person we both knew, and you said "Who?" This person played a pretty big role in my life at one time, even if for a short period, and for some reason, silly me, I thought you would remember. Well I was wrong. And once again you reminded me how glad I am that nothing came of it. I still would like to hit you sometimes, though, when you say something stupid like that. Thank you for consistently doing things that assure me I made the right decision so many years ago.

Your insignificant detail,
Lindsay

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Dear Unreciprocated Friendship:

I wanted to help you. That’s all. I thought that after all this time, things would be fine (though I wasn’t sure how things went wrong to begin with), and that I would step up, call you, offer you a break, some time away to yourself. But you don’t call back, and while I’m not surprised, I opened myself up to be hurt again. I try not to let you do that to me, and have been somewhat successful in the past year, but somewhere inside myself I thought that things would be different. So I tried, and in trying, I also know that the people who really care about me would never treat me that way. So my dear Unreciprocated Friendship, you’ve made it clear that we have no friendship. While that makes me sad, at least I know where I stand. I don’t like ambiguity. I was one of the most loyal, faithful people that you had in your life, but I can’t stay that way anymore. I’m letting you go.

Adieu,
Lindsay

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Dear Reciprocated Friendships,

Thank you for being there, with a text message or an IM or an email or a quick phone call while I’m incoherent. You give me hope.

I love you all,
Lindsay