Last night, after a slow, mindnumbing night at work (although I did read some of Her Husband, which was good), I went home. I walked it, Tater was up at the door, freaking out like she always does when I first get home. I’m talking to Pete, getting Tater to settle down, and I tell Peter that I’ll call him back after I take my shower.

So I’m in the shower, and Tater is still being whiney. I peak out at her and she’s sitting on the toilet lid, looking back at me. I close the curtain again to finish washing my hair, and all of the sudden, there is no shower. There is a weak stream of water coming from the shower and a wooooshhh-ing sound thats coming from somewhere in the bathroom. From my experience, this means that the toilet is flooding, because at my house that’s what happens. I turn off the shower and Tater is still on the toilet lid, which means that there is no water. I turn off my radio and the noise is still there, and I try to turn the water line that’s connected to the toilet off, when i look to my right and there’s water RUSHING out from the space around the pocket door.

Holy shit.

I call Pam and Scott, and no one answers. Fuck. So I put on some sandals and my robe and haul my half showered ass towards there house with my cell phone IN MY ROBE when they call me back.

“My bathroom is flooding and I don’t know how to turn the water off,” I tell Pam franticly.

“Lindsay?” she asks, and I’m thinking, come on, don’t you have my number in your cell?

“Yes! It’s flooding and I don’t know what to do!!” She tells me she’ll send Scott over. I think, crap, I’m going to have to change really fast before he gets here. I run back into my apartment and step in two inches of water. I’m not even exaggerating. I look around to try and find Tater and she’s sitting on my computer desk.

I realize that all of my electrical stuff for my computer (surge protectors and what not) is on the floor. My apartment is no longer safe. And Tater is on top of the computer desk that is not safe. As I wade over to Tater, Scott walks in and goes, “What the fuck happened?? I am so sorry. I’ll turn the water off!!” and runs back outside. But when he turned off my water, it didn’t work. He had to turn off the water at the street.

Scott wanders back in and looks confused. “How did this happen?” he asks me. Mind you, I am still wearing my robe and feeling weird that he’s in there and I’m in my robe. I explain to him and he’s like, “I just don’t understand how this can happen!” Pam walks in and looks down and says “Oh my God.” Scott springs into action and is like “203!! I have to check 203!!!” which is Liz’s place and he runs over there.

At this point I just wanted to get the hell out of there. Pam is talking quickly about how they’re going to shop vac everything since they have one, and it will be fine. I call Pete and without even saying hello he says, “Thats good timing, I was just getting into my pajamas.” At this point its 2 a.m.

“My apartment is flooded. I need you to go to Walmart and get Tater litter, because my litter is soaked and ruined. I’m coming over and bringing Tater, I can’t stay here.” My poor boyfriend. 2 a.m. and his girlfriend is in crisis mode and calling him and telling him to go out and get cat litter. He didn’t even question me. He just said ok, which is one of the reasons I love him.

Scott comes back in and stares at me and Pam and says, “I’m freaking out. How did this happen? I’m freaking out.”

I’m still in my robe.

“Is there anything I can do for you right now?” Pam asks. “I don’t want you to catch a draft.” Ha.

I start putting some clothes into plastic bags. One of the problems is that a lot of my clean clothes were in a laundry basket waiting to be transferred into drawers. They’re all wet. So I grab Tater’s litter box, some food, and some random things I can wear. For some reason I actually remembered to bring the shot glass I bought Juan in San Fran. I didn’t bother getting dressed. There was water everywhere and two landlords right there and it just would have been a pain in the ass. I get in my car and leave, in my robe.

In the mean time I call Pete, who is at Walgreens. He calls me in to Stoneybrook. Then I call Lyanna, because my crazy little cousin is awake at odd hours of the night and I needed to vent. She doesn’t answer so I leave a message on her phone telling her what happened. Then I remember that I forgot to tell her I wasn’t wearing any real clothes, so I called her back and said, “Oh yeah, forgot to tell you that I ran to their house in a ROBE, and I’m driving to Pete’s in this fucking ROBE. I’m going to my boyfriend’s house in a robe which officially makes me feel like a WHORE. You’re cousin is now a whore!” I wasn’t in a good mood.

I get here and security guard stares at me all weird. I wanted to yell at him. Just let me in, don’t make this any weirder than it already is.

I finally get to Pete’s place, get out of the car, robe falls open. Great. Fix it.Get Tater. Pete opens the door and tries not to laugh at me. My hair is wet and I’m in the robe holding Tater and my bag of clothes and she’s crying. He gives me a hug. Then I go in the kitchen and he has ice cream and my favorite chex mix and treats for Tater. I am dating the most amazing guy in the whole world.

This morning I come back and all of the furniture is out of my apartment. Pam and Scott were great. They’re cleaning everything up. We’ll see what happens when I get home from work tonight. But man. What a fucking crazy night.