So I’m leaving my house to go to work, and its 12:55. I’m sorta going
to be late, because there are these generators in the visitor parking
lot and all of the visitors/important people are parking in our lot,
and it took me forever to find parking. As I’m backing out, my mom
calls. “Hold on, mom” I say, because backing out of my narrow driveway
can be tricky, and I don’t like any distractions. I check the review
mirror to make sure that I’m not going to be running over any cats, and
they’re already headed underneath my landlord’s house. All systems are
go . . .


BOOM!

I hit the side mirror of my car against the fence.

“SHIT,” I scream, and hang up on my mom.

I pull forward, and it’s just popped out a little bit. Whatever. Pete can fix it when I see him tomorrow.

So I back out of the driveway, and head to work. I call my mom back,
and tell her what happened. As I approach the security gate, I realize
that I forgot my pass to get in the parking lot. Shit. I don’t want to
go back and have to back out of the damn driveway again.

Flustered, I make a right turn on Orange to get to the Orange visitor
lot so I can just park. Right into oncoming traffic. One car honks at
me, and I’m like, “Stupid car. I’m not doing anything wrong.” And then
I look, and all four lanes of traffic are going the opposited direction
as I am. I can’t exactly turn around, so I go ahead and pull into the
parking lot while people flash their brights at me.

I pull into a parking space and get out of my car. There’s a woman
walking into the building. As the door closes behind her to go
somewhere on the first floor, I grab it and follow her in.

She stops, turns around, and stares at me. “Do you work here?”

“Yeah, I work here, I forgot my pass and I’m late,” I reply, hoping
she’ll leave me alone because I’ve already had enough crap to deal with.

“I’ve never seen you before,” she says. I tell her I work nights, up at
the information desk, so she probably wouldn’t recognize me. I procede
to tell her that as of right now, I’m having a really bad day. I tell
her what happened and she goes, “Oh…so thats why you were going the
wrong way on Orange.”

Kill me now.

I run up the stairs, irritated and starving, hoping A. and E. are
there. They’re not. And I am left alone with our dear Tut, whom I have
renamed to protect myself. And writing about work. And because he is
the king of information.

And so, to begin my glorious weekend, I am left alone with Tut,
answering the phone on my own because he is too busy picking his teeth.

C’est la vie.