Lindsay Keegan

so last week i was at home the whole time, which consisted of most of its time spent at my father’s office, buying computers to upgrade his whole set up there, and making them work. i was successful on all but one thing, so it was good. and i got a paycheck, which is also a bonus :).

without working at the office, my trip down south would have been pretty boring, since my callbacks from jen and jon didn’t come until my second to last day, which is cool, but didn’t leave enough time to do much.

i used to really resent miami. when most people think about high school, they talk about how amazing it was and how fun it was. i hated high school, even though i had some of the greatest times of my life during it. london, meeting the guys and having close guy friendships, and all the crazy stuff us girls did w/them. all the drama that went with it, and the relationships that developed because of it. when i tell people stories about things that happened to us during high school, it sounds cinema worthy, minus the partying. at the same time, there wasn’t a good reason to why i hated high school. i hated palmetto and the cliqueyness of it, and the politics that there were amongst friendships. school was boring. i wasn’t into the tennis team. and i never really got involved with any of those people. which i don’t regret, because the friendships i had outside of school are ones that have lasted for the most part. i resented miami because it was a place that involved confusing times, and half of the time i didn’t really understand what was going on or how to process it. isn’t it weird that i’m only starting to figure it out now? i remember telling jennifer that i just wanted to move and start over, and she used to get upset with me when i would say it, but i think that in some ways i felt trapped. i always felt the need to censor myself, be what everyone expected me to be, and do what everyone expected me to do. i honestly don’t think that i’ve come into my own even now, but i’m a lot closer than i was back then.

if i had the chance to meet my 15 year old self, i would tell her not to be afraid to say what she was thinking. all the time, good or bad, because while words can hurt, sometimes its just better to let those around you know how you feel. i would also tell her that other people’s opinons don’t matter, unless it’s the opinion of someone you care about in a situation where you’re endangering yourself, and unless they’re talking about feelings that have to do with you.

in other news, peter is in ireland for 10 days, school starts on tuesday, and i have no plans all week. 2 weeks of summer and i’m already bored!