Would you like to take a survey? Revisited

Oh the days of the survey. Here I am, awake at 11 pm the day before a media event, and I have nothing better to do than hunt down a survey that I took in 2003 and see what my answers would be today. 

THE FRUITS OF YOUR LABOR( things you can't live without)

Something important on your desk: my steno pad

When you sleep you wear: night gown or boxers/shirt 

If you could afford it at the moment, you would buy: a brand new kitchen, new windows for the upstairs, and new curtains for the downstairs. and some paint.

Something you don't have a lot of: time

If your house was burning and you could only save 3 items what would they be: our cats, my journals, my laptop


If there were no side effects, you would enjoy being addicted to: ugh pepsi and chocolate. pepsi is my downfall. 

A compliment that makes you blush: really no compliments make me blush right now. i've tried to be better about accepting compliments, and accept them graciously.

You are embarassed when: I've learned to laugh at myself in the last three years. This year I called our CEO by the wrong name, so I'd say when I do something retarded like that.

The greatest physical pain you ever endured: It's a toss up between tennis elbow in college and ovarian cysts.

The greatest emotional pain you ever endured: Losing my best friend, and unexpected deaths. Tater passing away was pretty terrible too.

Your best physical feature: eyes


Emotion you hide most: I think I'm pretty good at hiding being really angry, which mostly applies on the tennis court. I always feel bitchy, but people don't know that I'm being bitchy. 

The emotion you tend to experience most: Melancholy would be the historical answer, but it's few and far between these days. 

The emotion you are feeling most lately: I would say a mixture between happy and overwhelmed. Craziness at work, holidays coming up. There's a lot to be grateful for, but also a lot going on.

You have a huge amount of guilt regarding: the death of our cat. Is there something else we could have done? I know there wasn't, but it's only been a few months and it still hits me sometimes.

When you are angry you need: to get away from people so i can cry. it's so annoying that i cry when i'm frustrated. tennis is also a pretty good outlet. unfortunately tennis can't go everywhere with you, which is where the crying comes in.

When you are sentimental you need: to reread old blog/journal entries and listen to music that reminds me of things

When you are in love you need: Denis Pete


One of your most peaceful memories: waking up to have tater snuggled up next to me, and falling back asleep.

One of your most tragic memories: the death of the tater was pretty traumatic. also when my aunt and cousin died in a car accident, and when i found out my papa had cancer.

One of your angriest memories: most of these involve middle aged tennis women that refer to me as a high schooler still. i haven't been really angry in quite awhile.

A memory that makes you laugh: i was late to something at work, and when i walked in the employee entrance i involuntarily dropped the cup i was holding on the ground. ice/coke when everywhere. right in front of the ceo. i'm awesome. hopefully my hijinks are endearing haha. 

a memory that makes you happy: thinking about our wedding


If you had more time alone you would: read and play more tennis

If you had more patience you would: try to learn to play an instrument. 

If you could change one thing about your physical appearance what would it be: my waistlessness. i get it from my mom. my sister has a waist, i want one too!

If you had no committments what would you be doing: playing tennis with all the desperate housewife tennis moms during the day, and then freelance editing. i would be traveling on the side, of course.

If you could start all over…. i wouldn't change a thing. i've learned that things happen for a reason, even if you can't see it right away.

who called the mariachi band?

i promised ben that i would post so here i am.

last night was my first night doing catering at signature gardens. and i am happy to say that i will not be returning there for a job. i hated it. hated hated hated it. and i’m never ever going back unless i have to attend an event there where other people serve me food.

i walk in, and no one tells me what to do. first they started speaking to me in spanish but when they saw the blank look on my face they realized i didn’t speak spanish and there was no hope for me. so i’m done. i need to work some place that people speak the same language as me. communication is an important thing, ya know.

so i’m home for break. tater is doing well here. she gets the run of the house while my other cat davie sleeps. he hisses at me because i have a new kitty. she’s cuter anyway. why can’t we all be friends?

home is good. my mom fried deer and trout. next weekend i’m goin for a ride in the swamp buggy. you’d think i’m from some hick town in the middle of fl or something and not miami! ben didn’t believe me when i said that my grandpa used to go frogging in his airboat and the weekend after the whole family would go to my grandparent’s house and eat fried frog legs. good stuff! i’m old school miami. we’ve been here awhile generationally. back since there were still woods and only old people hung out on south beach! actually miami beach used to be mangroves and a crappy little strip of beach til developers came and filled it all in with "imported" sand. betcha didn’t know that! props to ap enviro hehe.

alright there’s my little update for now. sorry its long! hope everyone is doin well!

yourself or someone like you

i went to the matchbox twenty concert last night and this is what they asked me. rob thomas told me that time is the most valuable thing that i have. i like matchbox twenty because they write their own lyrics and they’re real people.
Are you happy?
Have you ever been?
What do you love?
Do you trust your friends?
Your family?
Your political leaders?
Your pets?
Do you trust the media?
Do you trust yourself?
What do you believe?
Do you believe in yourself?
Do you mean what you say?
What are you waiting for?
Who are you most yourself with?
Are you different when you are alone?
Do you like your life?
Do you care to dance?
Did you see that?
What’s so funny?
What are you scared of?
Was it as bad as you imagined?
Are you more than you think you are?

jr high days

so in celebration of procrastination, cristin and i went to barnes
and noble before starting our homework. we’re walking through, and she
see’s this girl and she’s like, "is that jessi bowen?" and i look, and
i’m like, "nah. what would she be doing up here?" and she says, "i’m
gonna go see."

she walks over there and sure enough, its
jessi, this girl that i was really good friends with from 7-9 grade.
and we talked and caught up and exchanged numbers and hopefully we’ll
hang out. it was so cool; sometimes when you run into people from back
in the day its really awkward, and you don’t know what to talk about,
but with her it was like we picked up from where we left off. i love
that. we also ran into alden and jo kim, but i see them everywhere.
they finally admitted to stalking me last night haha.

talked to my friend jon last night, and for the first time in our nine
year friendship he called me to vent. it was cool. i made a "date" with
him to see lord of the rings the day it comes out, because we’ve seen
it together every year since it came out. it’ll probably also be with
some other mia friends of mine i haven’t seen in awhile, so hopefully
that will be cool. jon kicks ass. he’s always been constant in my life,
threatening to kick any guys ass who messes with me too much. its
always comforting to know that i’m protected from psycho guys hehe.

off to do homework!

the poem i got a b- on because it wasn’t deep enough

It is dusk.
The sun is setting slowly
And revealing magnificent shades
Of red, pink, and orange.
It is my favorite time of day
And I am at my favorite place.
I am standing at the baseline
Anticipating the next shot that
Will be hit my way.
I look left and briefly watch the sun
It reminds me of the countless other
Times I have watched a
Sunset on this court.
The wind changes and the scent
Of barbeque makes its way towards me
Reminding me how hungry I am
And how my mom will have dinner
Ready for me when I get home.
This is where I grew up and
Dreamed big dreams of being
A tennis star.
I remember talks after lessons
About who got what scholarship
At what college to play.
Here on the court I am not any particular age.
I am nine, I am fifteen, I am twenty.
I am invincible.
I will get to every shot that is hit my way.
The rhythmic sound of hitting the ball
Helps me make sense of things in my life.
I have played through many feelings here.
Happiness, grief, sadness, nostalgia.
Each game I play is a struggle to be better
And I do my best to make it out alive.
Now that I am older I dream big dreams
Of things the real world offers me.
I have a future. I am twenty
And I may not be a tennis star
But I am still invincible.
The moon rises in the east
Over my Miami horizon.
It is almost as beautiful as
The sunset was.
I am home.

not much of a poet. this was a 15 minute poem that i wrote for my
creative writing class right before it started one thurs morning. no
rhyme, no meter, no structure. it just flowed, as most of my writing
does for me, especially when its an easy assignment ("where do you feel
most at home") and i’m under a deadline. this teacher is extremely hard
to please. he likes to give me b’s and say that stuff i write is
superficial. not that this is anything outstanding. ah well. can’t have

i have such a love/hate relationship with writing
anything. i hate to write. sometimes i can’t make myself do it. like
right now, i have to be doing a style analysis for my mag writing class
and its so boring that it doesn’t interest me enough. it’s due at
11:30. and its my major. but that feeling that you get after you’ve
read something that you’ve written, where somehow what you’re feeling
is right there in front of you, and it just works. or the relief that
comes from getting that paper done after you’ve worked really hard on
it. or getting the grade you wanted. the best my creative writing
teacher has given me is a b+. next on the agenda is a short story. i
haven’t written one of those since like elementary school and it makes
me nervous. Dave and i were talking the other day and he asked if i had
started working on a book or anything, and i was like. . .not yet.
sandy says that this is the time we should get into the habit of
writing because it helps you be disciplined to it as you get older.

read about gertrude stein and t.s. eliot and ezra pound and picasso
being surrounded by other writers and artists part of the modernist
revolution in paris. i wonder what that was like. i wish i was one of
them. just not crazy. they say that you just have to write something
that people will read. the greats never really became great until after
they were gone. and thats the amazing thing about writing. you live far
beyond your own lifetime.

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